Wow. This is some crowd. Thousands. This is beyond anyone's expectations. There's never been a crowd like this.
It's great to be here on a wonderful forum: World of Weird Al Yankovic. It's an honor to have all of you here for this major announcement. It's going to be huge, it's going to be luxurious, and not only that, it's going to be historic.
First, let me address the obvious confusion: I, billionaire investor, real estate mogul, and presidential fruntrunner Donald J. Trump, have been posting for the past 12 years on WOWAY using the pseudonym TMBJon, which stands for Trump Multi Billionaire Don. Every post you've seen on this forum which was allegedly written by "Jon Katz" has actually been part of a long 12-year cover-up so that, at just the right time, I would be able to come to you as a trusted forum member to make this profound announcement:
Our forum is in serious trouble, folks. It's true. I've seen some of the topics on this forum lately. Some of the new members. We used to have victories here, and we don't have them anymore. I mean, I have victories... Some other members on here, they have victories. They used to say that WOWAY was the greatest forum on the Internet. It's not true anymore. When was the last time we beat reddit at anything? It doesn't exist, folks. When other forums send their members over here, they're not sending their best people. They're not sending you. They're sending people with a lot of problems, and they're dumping these problems on us. They're sending morons. They're sending trolls. They're neckbeards. And some, I assume are good people.
Our forum is in serious trouble, and our leaders. Our supposed leaders, I should say. Our leaders are failing us. Our moderators and our administrators are failing, because they are all talk and no action. Frankly, it's a bit pathetic. I hear from these moderators. They come up to my office and want me to support them. They don't know how to make the forum great again, so they come up to my office. And they don't know! They say "Mr. Trump, what can we do? Can we have your support? How do we do it?" So I watch these moderators and admins, I'm telling you they can't do it. They don't know how to make WOWAY great again. They're controlled fully by the lobbyists and the special interests and the donors, fully.
Our forum needs a truly great leader. We need a truly great leader now, and we need a leader who wrote "The Art of The Deal". We need someone who can take the brand of WOWAY and make it great again. It's not great again. We need someone who can literally take this forum and make it great again. We can do that. It's not hard. And let me tell you. I love my life. I love being a member of this forum. You know, all my life I've always heard that a truly successful person, or even a modestly successful person, can't host their own reality game on WOWAY. Just can't happen. And yet, that's the kind of mindset you need to make this forum great again!
So ladies and gentlemen... I am officially hosting a new reality game on WOWAY... and we are going to make this forum great again!
It can happen. This forum has tremendous potential. We have tremendous members. We have members that aren't posting. But they are going to have incentive to post, and they'll be proud and they will love it, and we'll be thriving. It can happen. I will be the greatest reality game host that God has ever created. I tell you that.
Somebody said to me the other day, a newbie, but a very nice newbie. They said to me, "Mr. Trump, you're not a nice person." But actually, I am. People that know me, like me. My family likes me. Anyway, they said to me, "Mr. Trump, you're not a nice member. How are you going to get people to play your game?" I said, "I don't know, I think I'm a nice person. I give money to charity and all these things. I'm a very nice person." But I said, "This is going to be a reality game that's based on competence, because people are tired of these nice people trying and failing."
People said I wouldn't do it. They said I wouldn't want to be a host of a game show when I have so much else going on for me. You know, I have thousands of likes on my posts in this forum. Thousands. I have more likes than more than anyone, really. The public figure is in the low thousands, but really it's much, much higher than that. I have thousands of people liking my posts. People PM me all the time and they tell me, "Mr. Trump, I wish I could like more of your posts, but there's a backlash. I'm trying to keep my liked posts lower than the amount that like my posts" or whatever they say. So I have very high level people on this forum who told me my real like count is much higher. It's well above 100,000 likes.
Anyway, what we're going to do here is really terrific. It's huge, it's luxurious, and frankly, it's quite historic. We are going to bring back my extremely successful award-winning television show, Celebrity Apprentice, right here on this forum.
What we need to get started is ten forum members who want to be contestants on this reality game. It's going to be difficult, and it's going to require a lot of work, more than any other reality game in the history of this forum. I know the demand to participate is going to be huge, it's going to be through the roof, and it's going to break lots of records. It may even shut down the WOWAY server for a bit, who knows.
If you are interested in being a contestant in this game show, just reply to this thread and tell me why I, Donald Trump, the greatest businessman in American history and, frankly, the greatest member in WOWAY history as well, should choose you as one of the ten contestants in this game. You will be challenged, you will be put to the test. Most of you will fail, and frankly you will fail in a very public way. And in the end, one of you will be chosen to be the WOWAY Apprentice.
Sadly, the great World of Weird Al Yankovic dream is dead.
But if you join me on this reality game, I will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than before, and we will Make WOWAY Great Again.
Thank you very much.
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