World of Weird Al Yankovic

young dumb and ugly @ Feb 26 2005, 05:13 AM wrote: Ill be going to Rushford, Minnesota this summer to visit some relatives.  Is thatanywhere near Darwin? 

Imagine if you will, Southeastern Minnesota. Sun and rain intermittently poured on my 89 Acclaim (which would travel its 100,000th mile later that day). I was northbound on U.S. highway 52 (beside which I once made my home in Rochester, MN) towards the Twin Cities and my eventual destination, Darwin and its Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota. My belly was full from the generous meal I helped myself to at Rochester's Old Country Buffet with 4 good friends.

I reached Interstate 494 without incident, and passed several landmarks known well to me from the months I spent living in MN. The airport, and the Mecca of Capitalism (Mall of America, otherwise known as). Upon setting tire upon that famed stretch of highway, I made sure to put in the UHF soundtrack by Weird Al Yankovic, on which the Twine Ball itself is immortalized. I then happened upon US 12, which would take me directly into the heart of Darwin.

I had to endure trials and tribulations, such as being stuck behind campers and pickup trucks. Who are these knaves to impede my journey to my calling, thought I? Why do they torment me so by having me drive at 45mph in a 55mph zone (when I would be doing about 62mph)?

But eventually, I truly did reach the fabled town of Darwin. Quickly, I put UHF back in the tape deck, in time to hear the great song by the immortal Weird One, "The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota". Soon, I saw a blue sign on my right that stated "HOME OF THE TWINE BALL" and an arrow to the left. With bated breath, I put on my turn signal and successfully negotated the turn which took me down Main Street, and towards the Twine Ball.

I first saw the heralded "Twine Ball Inn," and my spirits rose, for that very establishment is mentioned in the song.

Then, on my left, across a side street from the Twine Ball Inn, I saw it. I saw the object that men have dared to only dream of seeing in their lifetimes. I saw the beacon which serves as a monument to all that was once good in the world -- and what could be again.

I saw The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota.

Children played in a playground across Main Street, heedless of the gift it is to be them, growing up in the very shadow of the Twine Ball. A park bench was near it as well, to comfort weary travelers who have made and will make the journey I completed.

Quickly, I parked the car and got out with my camera. The Twine Ball was shielded from the elements and vandals by a large pagoda with plexiglass surrounding it, and a guestbook next to it (which I promptly signed).

The Twine Ball itself is, from memory, about 15 feet in diameter. So it is very big. But its height is somewhat less, as it is not a perfect sphere (such are the tolls of gravity and porting the Twine to this, its current resting place).

Unfortunately, my quest for Twine Ball merchandise turned up nil. Even the famed Twine Ball Inn was closed for the day, since it was Sunday. A local tavern was the only place of business open, and it sold no Twine Ball items.

I took pictures of the Twine Ball Inn, the Twine Ball itself (of course) and other Darwin/Twine Ball features. I happened upon two employees of the Twine Ball Inn, who were kind enough to take my picture next to the Twine Ball. Unfortunately, I was so overwhelemed by its grandeur and the excitement of being in Darwin that I forgot to ask their names or to take a picture of them, to immortalize them in my photo collection.

So, finding naught save for the legendary Ball, I headed out of Darwin. Will I ever return to this sacred ground? Will I remember not to come on a Sunday? Will I stop and have a beer at the tavern in town? Perhaps "no" is the only answer for those questions, but one thing I will always know in my heart of hearts:

I have seen the Twine Ball, therefore I am.

twinkieweinersandwiches24_7 @ Mar 24 2005, 12:09 AM wrote: wonder if Al's taken Nina to see TBBOTIM yet...