World of Weird Al Yankovic

Granted. You've just spiled boiling acid all over your shirt instead.


I wish Al would do a live action video for CI.

Granted, but he uses up all his money on it so there is no 13th album


I wish this next answer will have no death destruction or lack of money in it

Granted, but suddenly a pandemic occurs, specifically, an incurable illness that is so painfully close to death, that the sufferers might as well just commit suicide; destruction occurs when action films are suddenly banned from cinemas worldwide, prompting moviegoers to stupidly take on the task themselves of creating explosions, shooting and fighting lots of bad guys, and having lots of gratuitous T&A thrown in, all for the sake of testosterone-fused entertainment; and money is lost to cities worldwide as they fight the pandemic (unsuccessfully) and try to calm down (that is, arrest and rehabilitate) the frustrated action movie fans.

I wish those days could come back once more. Why did those days ever have to go?

Because they were afraid of Chuck Norris.

I wish Al would make my throat stop hurting.

Granted, but then Chuck Norris makes it start hurting again.

I wish Al and Chuck Norris would fight to the death, and Al would win.

Granted!

But then when Al's not looking, the fist underneath Chuck Norris's beard knocks him unconscious.

I wish Al would disintegrate Chuck Norris into oblivion.

Granted. The world celebrates.

I wish Al would come and create a new version of this thread. This one's getting too big.

Granted!

But since he always signs in under guest, nobody knows it's Al.

I wish Al would create a new thread under his account name.

Granted!

But no one can post in it but him.

I wish AL would share with us

Granted!

But then everyone ignores him.

I wish I was as awesome as Al.