Yeeow! That's scary! There do seem to be relatively few people like that in Al fandom, fortunately.DrSteggy @ July 21, 2009 10:48 pm wrote: There was another one--who also vanished after RWS--who started out as a fun person and inside of 4 months turned into a nut. Last time I saw her in person she was beating her fists on the door of the bus after a show.
Yup, I've thought that Al's practice of meeting people after shows while sitting on the front steps of the bus is a very sensible one. Easy to do a quick retreat if necessary.There is a time and place for fan interactions, and I think those are generally things that the famous person can control--because you never quite know when someone is going off the edge.
I dislike that and there is no delicate way to back out of that situation. So I try to think about how I'd feel in a situation before I'd go approach someone.
Good point. I'm obviously not famous, but I do work in the criminal courts, and you can imagine the shiver I get down my spine when I'm in a restaurant, at a carwash, whatever, and some guy, speaking Spanish, says, "Remember me?" No, and I don't want to. I don't want to hear all about his case. I just want to scram.
In the case of most famous people, I think that's true, and the whole paparazzi/E! True Hollywood Story culture exists to foster that illusion. But Al's not about cultivating an image when he's not performing, and after so many years, we have a LOT of data, from a lot of sources, that is all pretty consistent. I think we can have a pretty good understanding of his basic personality, what's important to him, some of his likes and dislikes... that's not an illusion. And I find it interesting that most Al fans here are decidedly cool to any intersection of Al and the pap culture. No, we don't want to see him on the cover of any tabloids, thank you very much (not that he'd ever do anything to win himself a spot there). No, we don't want to see him hounded by photographers. And no, we especially don't want to see any pictures of Nina.Its easy to assume you have a different relationship with someone who is famous than you really do, because you can feel like you know them when you really do not.
The illusion we have to guard against is the opposite one: not thinking we know Al, but thinking Al knows us. Just because he does remember names and faces and details (in that sense he "knows" quite a few of us, and I was as thrilled as anybody when I found out he knew my name) doesn't mean there will ever be time enough for him to really know us. We may believe we'll never go off the deep end-- but Al has no way of knowing that. And time, the only thing that would allow him to know that, is absolutely his most precious resource. We wouldn't ask him to pay for our dinner in a restaurant, but if we approach him in the restaurant, we're asking him to spend on us some part of a treasure that he never has enough of.
I'm continually amazed by how much time Al does give us. He's unbelievably generous that way, and it would be extremely ungrateful to suggest he should give more (can you hear me, Bus Door Lady?). And I admire his courage too, since every encounter with the strangers or semi-strangers who follow him involves at least some degree of risk to his person, his family, and/or his reputation. Because you can never be perfectly sure that somebody won't react in an unexpected way.
I guess those are my takeaway things-I-endeavor-to-remember about IRL encounters with Al: He will always be cautious to some degree in dealing with us, and that's as it should be and no grounds for feeling offended. He will always need to protect his time and energy, and that also is as it should be and no grounds for feeling offended. Whatever time he gives us is a gift, to be received with gratitude. The only thing he really "owes" to his fans is to do good work, and he's got that one covered.
J/k, it was just a short IFW! (International Fans' Whine)! Seriously, I was surprised to hear about some Al fans doin' scary fanatic stuff. It's creepy, indeed - and how calm and strong-willed Al should be not to pay much attention to it!