World of Weird Al Yankovic

Manatees are near extinction because the manatee took no lover after CNR. He was enough to last several lifetimes.

Charles Nelson Reilly had an affair with a tractor-trailer.

One broken condom later....

That impact crater in Mexico from when the dinosaurs went extinct? Not from an asteroid.

Charles Nelson Reilly's fist.

You're welcome, paleontologists.

1000 points each.



"First World Problems"

Facebook was down for an hour, so I had to ACTUALLY socialize with people

When I'm in the kitchen/dinning room area of my house, my laptop/iPhone doesn't know which WiFi port to choose to get its internet from, resulting it the WiFi there being very poor.

Desperately waiting for the crosswalk to light up, then realize a minute later that I didn't hit the crosswalk button, assuming somebody already did it beforehand.

I don't like making phone calls because they drain my phone battery way faster than texts.

Oh no... Filet mignon again?

Yesterday, the Twitter app on my phone kept freezing up and crashing and I couldn't turn on my notifications for, like, half an hour!