The Tao of Al

[Elvis]

Thou shalt not sculpt Pat Sajak's head in a manner that makes it look like Alex Trebek.
Corollary: Thou shalt not forget the gooey cream-filled center.

Dave

[tomatochives]

The 27 Commandments

1. Thou shalt have no other parodists before me
2. Thou shalt not make or worship any misattributions
3. Thou shalt not take the Weird One's name in vain
4. Remember the Weasel Stomping Day, to keep it holy
5. Honor Nick & Mary
6. Thou shalt not bash in anyone's head
7. Thou shalt not mistakenly date thy cousin
8. Thou shalt not steal circus animals
9. Thou shalt not dispose of thy neighbor and deny any involvement
10. Thou shalt not creep anyone out
11. Thou shalt not taint thy speech with bad grammar
12. Thou shalt always dare to be stupid
13. Thou shalt not take pleasure in the music of Prince
14. Thou shalt keep at least 27 Hawaiian shirts on hand at all times
15. Thou shalt not illegally download songs
16. Thou shalt not pay good money for stupid ringtones
17. Thou shalt get thyself an egg and beat it, then open up thy mouth and feed it
18. Thou shalt possess a copy of UHF in some form; be it VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray, Laserdisc, Beta, etc.
19. Thou shalt not forward crap via e-mail to thy friends
20. Thou shalt not wear those shoes
21. Thou shalt not shake that boogie off thy finger; nor pick it off, flick it off, or lick it off
22. Thou shalt train thy Wonder Hamster in the ways of Harvey
23. Thou shalt not play that song, that Achy Breaky Song, the most annoying song we know
24. Thou shalt not throw poodles out of windows
25. Thou shalt not forget the gooey cream-filled center
26. Thou shalt not borrow more than five bucks
27. And thou shalt never drive anywhere with a rabid wolverine in thy pants

[WeirdDana27]

YES!! This is awesome

[anthontherun]

How about next...the BeALtitudes?

Blessed are those who dare to be stupid, for the future is up to them.

[WeirdDana27]

Anthontherun, can you enlighten me as to what these BeALtitudes are? I was raised Jewish...

[anthontherun]

The Beatitudes are a series of eight teachings that Wikipedia sums up as "Jesus names a group of people normally thought to be unfortunate and pronounces them blessed." So "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth," for instance. The BeALtitudes would be groups of people normally thought to be unfortunate/weird who Al has redeemed in some way or another. Or something.

[WeirdDana27]

Another BeALtitude:
-Blessed are those who lose on Jeopardy, for they will do better on The Price is Right.

[Elvis]

Blessed are those who wait for Al by the bus, for they may get any item signed that they wish instead of a poster no one wants.

Dave

[Yankomaniac]

Not anymore. Finally it can go down the way it should for people who can and can't afford the package. If Al does decide he has the energy to rock a bus greet, you shall feel more satisfied.

[Weird Emily]

count me in for this project! I will definatley do some writing for this project, is there anything in particular that u would like me to write about??