I've realised how much Al has touched me inside. He's made me explore a new life ahead of me that feels so... different. Being able to bond with you guys, sexual preferences and fantasies beside, has really helped me deal with some of those weird emotions at times (because if you've been through it, you know they kinda feel weird. Still feel weird to me at times) and just being able to talk to you all has helped me so much. I might still find them weird and of course it's just so hard to understand because I am exploring them young but Al is so much of a better man to have it kicked off on rather than one of those stupid pop stars. I can't imagine a better community that understands me better.
Al is an ultimate sex god that could set ANYONE on fire, no matter if they're straight or not. He awakened me with a feeling I couldn't immediately identify with that you all know is being "turned on". Exploring my sexuality to Al has been very frustrating, and it does feel very weird at times. Awakening has been tough and extremely hard to understand at times but at times it can feel very nice and relaxing to the point I could fall asleep and have a nice dream. Experiencing these feelings are extremely tough but I'm trying to work through them and understand them. Al has helped me progress into another stage of my life and it feels so nice at times. If I went into more detail it would be quite TMI (I find it hard to understand social skills and what to say and what not to say...) so I won't do so. But Al has made feel nice and strange at the same time and it is hard to understand.
I'm sure you can all agree on how Al looks gorgeous. We've all had traumatic times, depression, anxiety (all of which I've had too) and it just feels brilliant to be with you all. I'm still gonna have times where I feel suicidal, depressed, anxious, like I need a break from it all, and you guys are the perfect bunch that can accommodate me and let me calm down in the best way possible. Depression, anxiety, PTSD-like flashbacks and Aspergers all suck, but you guys have really just helped me from the first moment I felt quite depressed to the first fewer time I felt turned on.
And no!! I'm not leaving! Don't even think about me leaving! The thought of me leaving y'all is sad
Anyways, back to the prime subject. I hope you guys can understand I'm just a weird Scottish teenager. Christmas time and a ski trip to Italy is coming up thus I'll be a lot happier. I love going into Glasgow during Christmas and seeing all the sights - one of my favourite things about Glaswegian Christmas. Pila's also gonna be great too, and very relaxing for me because being autistic has always sucked and with all my mental health issues skiing is a great and relaxing way to destress and to allow me to forget that I'm not normal. Some people think just going down a hill is pointless but to me it has actual effects. It's also the excitement of it all that's nice.
But I am a strange Scottish teenager. There's gonna be all those bits of being a teenager where I'm just gonna feel crap and I hope you guys can understand and relate. I love you all dearly but there will be times where I'll just say stuff I may really mean at the time but not mean it later, like "I don't feel like I can go on anymore". Just be calm when I say such things. I am never really perfect having been born to just feel this way, I guess, and the best thing you can do is try and talk to me about something else. Again, I love you all very dearly but again there will be times when I feel that bad.
I really hope you guys just understand that being a teenager is rough. Feeling your kinks for the first time, feeling constantly depressed, having to make every class in time in high school... yep. I'm sure adult Yankochicks will have all experienced that and all. I'm so thankful I have you guys to shine the light for me in a time where I'm finding it difficult to communicate to my parents "I need help". For many it's easy but for me it's a very anxiety-inducing thought.
I hope you can all understand. I love you all so much, like, you guys don't even understand. I'm still struggling sexually, mentally and emotionally but I'm thankful to have you all to guide me through the weird storm of goo, [strong] feelings and literal Murphy's law from all over the place. As I've said so many times being a teenager is terrible (I'm so sorry young me that you had to think my teenage life was gonna be good and all. Maybe... read this post if you have any doubts about your future?) and filled with stuff and emotions hurled at you all over so I just hope you guys really understand me. This post was hard to make but I know it is so important for some of you guys to know about how I am doing and all.
I love you all. Never forget that! I will never leave you and I will be staying here for many merciful years to come
My heart feels so warm and filled with love and thankful for Al (for helping me explore my sexuality, which is sometimes bad, but still good for me in some sort of way because most autistic people like me just don't get taught about this stuff [which is what happened to me] and most don't even awaken. And also for helping me through bad mental health!) and for you guys for at the worst of times getting me out of the craphole that is puberty, depression, anxiety and flashbacks to primary. It's still all going on but I just want you guys to understand a bit more about who I am and what I am going through. It's all difficult but people like you help me see some light in the darkness. 
Love y'all so dearly. Stay happy and peaceful
Oi. You aren't a cringy idiot! You're a really nice person. Don't say that about yourself, ever, ok? You are truthfully one of the best and utmost kindest people I have met, so never feel such a wayWebkinz38824 wrote:Busy. My life doesn't revolve around Al. I realized that I was acting like a cringy idiot to try to one up you. I have things to do- I'm trying to perfect drawing Phineas' head.
Al is a cool guy, but my life isn't just about him.
When you feel bad, just think of the good times 
(edit: adding an extra paragraph)
I just seemingly feel awkward all the time with my fantasies and wanting to explore who Al truly is sexually. I've never loved somebody this strong to that point nor have I fantasised about anyone in this manner. There are times where I feel so happy over Al it's hard to get rid of the feeling and I become depressed and there are times where I'm willing to just go for it on Al but he isn't there so the whole thing just feels like 
