Oh, hi there.
Yes, I did attend last night. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I had pretty low expectations about this, as it just sounded like a random and terrible combination--like a caramel and salmon sundae. Also, as a matter of full disclosure, I'm a gay...so, I'm not super interested in stripping ladies.
My Al-Pal Adriana joined me, along with some co-workers who live near the theater (one of whom is an Al-fan--the other is simply a fan of women taking their clothes off.)
If anyone plans on seeing this show, read no further! Standard Spoiler Warning In Effect
As I mentioned, I wasn't sure what to expect...but I was frightful and doubtful and not at all drunk. Then the hostess came out and did a little striptease to White & Nerdy. It was kind of awkward, sort of interesting, and very, very strange. But hey...the music was fun!
Next up on stage, a woman with an unruly blue wig performed to the Theme from Rocky XIII. She was pretty hardcore and, as she undressed, she revealed a bra made up of (what else?) one rye and one kaiser. My co-worker leaned over and said, "I feel like I'm in a mental institution." I sort of agreed with him, but I was totally on board by this point. This girl was hilarious.
And the show just got better and better. The performers were all incredibly talented at their craft--and super creative with their props and costumes. And, above all, they were really, really funny.
I'll try to give you a rundown of the show:
BOB: A blonde bombshell came up, did a verse with hand-written signs featuring the lyrics of the song, which she tossed aside. She quickly abandoned this idea in favor of tossing her clothing off, revealing hand-written messages on her limbs (including one that read "UHF on VHS" which drove the White & Nerdy crowd pretty wild.)
TRAPPED IN THE DRIVE-THRU: This performer was, I believe, originally from Tokyo. She came on stage with a sandwich board that featured the name of the song (as it looks at the top of the video) She performed the second section of the song only--and used hand-puppets to re-enact the lines of the song. The boy puppet was wearing a hard hat and construction gear, while the blonde girl puppet was dressed like some sort of country music star. I grabbed a photo with the performer later (after she got dressed again...with the sandwich board, of course.) You can see it on my instagram, if you're so inclined.
FAT: This woman had been walking around the club, being generally insane from the moment we arrived. She was wearing a gray hoodie to start, but that was quickly pulled off to reveal her bulky shiny black pleather costume--complete with buckles, of course. As she stripped further, the source of her bulk was revealed: Her costume was stuffed with bags of potato chips and packets of Choco-pies™, which she chucked into the appreciative crowd. Soon, she was down to little more than a tiny bottom and black tape across her boobs, arranged to cover her nipples while spelling out: XXXL. One of my favorites of the night.
: If you've ever wondered what it would look like if a woman stripped while prancing around inside of a wearable can of Spam (made of felt) this was definitely the performance for you.
THIS IS THE LIFE: Her costume was flapper-esque, and she performed her tease with the aid of two green standard burlesque-esque feathered-fans.
POLKA FACE: Obviously, this woman took the stage in a traditional German beer wench costume. She also had a gigantic box of props that she pulled from continuously (which was no easy feat, as she was also very busy taking her clothes off...) She was effing crazy and effing hilarious. One of the funniest and best performances of the night.
LIKE A SURGEON: I'm sure you'll have no trouble imagining a sexy doctor operating on a stuffed animal while seductively dancing with a stethoscope.
EAT IT: Another highlight! This fiery redhead came out dressed as a 50's era housewife, and, once she lost her dress, began teasing the audience with two turquoise lunch trays, ultimately revealing her panties which read "EAT IT" on the front...and "Hot Lunch" on the back.
ANOTHER TATTOO: The only male performer of the night came out in drag, and slowly removed not only his dress to reveal his many tattoos, but also his wig to reveal his shaved head. Oh, and he removed his fake butt to showcase his real one. Sexy? Yes. Hilarious? Absolutely. Terrifying? For sure.
ONE MORE MINUTE: The show reached new a new high with this woman, who also used clever props as she slowly disrobed--it's hard to sell sexiness while covered in leeches, but she did a grand job.
AMISH PARADISE: The creator of this event came up and closed the show with her portrayal of an Amish woman, complete with butter-churning, humility, and a merkin in the shape of an Amish beard.
There was a lot of crazy in this show--but also a lot of thought and a lot of effort. And you know what? It was awesome. Comedy and stripping should go together more! (But I'm still not eating a salmon caramel sundae.)
xo
--UHJeff
Twitter: UHJeff
IG: THEUHJeff