Unfunny Songs You've Written

[Big Spoon]

From what I've seen, you have more than just one or two songs that fit the "unfunny" category.

[JCM]

I just found this on my hard drive, and if it was meant to be a comedy song, God help my younger self.

What's up, everyone? I got a story to tell.
About a whiny little brat lurking on his Dell.
He said that people like me were doing wrong.
And he expressed his thoughts on this somehow decent song.

(begin singing)
Rap is just crap with a silent "c".
With Retards Attempting Poetry.
And please don't call me stupid for having an opinion.
I will continue to say it until my days are done.

Rap is just crap with a silent "c".
Just Retards Attempting Poetry.
You say my days are numbered? And sleep with one eye open?
You won't scare me. You don't scare me. So, listen to me, friend!

Oh yeah!

Rap is just crap with a silent "c".
Those Retards Attempting Poetry.
Think that I don't know that it's just a lack of common sense.
So remember that one person can make a difference.
(end singing)

So remember the moral of this story.
Other people can make up these songs for me
I know it's hypocrisy but
I do not give a flying

[giantlobsterrobot]

So you also wrote a serious song about rap music? What a coincidence! Go figure... and all that stuff. Let's stick it to 'em!

[JCM]

Fo sho, homie.

Because I personally believe that parodies should be humorous, I think this lyric switch of The Beatles' Penny Lane would fit in better here.

In Sinny Lane there's an assassin showing all his plaques
With every head he's had the pleasure to have sliced,
And the people that have paid the price,
Hops over us twice.

On the corner is a salesman with a purse-suitcase,
The little children laugh at him behind his back.
And the salesman steals all of their Macs
In the pouring rain, they all hang.

Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes.
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies
I sit, and meanwhile back
In Sinny Lane there is a minister with an hourglass
And in his pocket is a portrait of the scene.
He likes to keep his big figure mean.
He's a mean machine.

Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes.
I lost my fish and finger pies
In summer, meanwhile back
Behind the shelter in the middle of the roundabout
An evil nurse is selling puppies from a tray
And she made sure that all the owners lay
She is really gray.

In Sinny Lane the assassin mounts up another head,
And the salesman rubs his neck as he walks by.
And then the minister sanctifies.
In the pouring rain, we all sang:

Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes.
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies
I sit, and meanwhile back.
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes.
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies
Sinny Lane.

[oddaustin]

I've written quite a few unfunny songs!

http://rycehat.bandcamp.com/track/amberline-demo" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://rycehat.bandcamp.com/track/look-at-the-sky" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://rycehat.bandcamp.com/track/front-and-center-demo" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[WeirdAbbott]

Maybe WeirdAbbott has some songs he could throw into this topic?

Actually, I do. And by the way, thanks for taking the high road and taking an unprovoked jab at me...
This is a song I wrote about my best friend, my friends believe this is my best non-parody song. (Also, this song is not meant to be funny...it falls under the "unfunny" category because it's a serious song )

Far From Perfect
She's not perfect, but that's OK
We all need help along the way
It doesn't matter what they say
You are who you are
She's not buying what they sell
She kept falling after she fell
The whole world is going to hell
She wished upon a star

When everything is wrong, nothing is right
She just lies there, awake through the night
Every single day is a never ending fight
For the girl with the unexpected, far from perfect life

She smokes but her boyfriend doesn't know it
She cuts herself, but she doesn't show it
She has a chance, hope she doesn't blow it
She can't cover all the scars
No one has seen all the tears she has shed
No one knows what's in her head
No one knows why she hasn't fled
Why is life so bizarre?

When everything is wrong, nothing is right
She just lies there, awake through the night
Every single day is a never ending fight
For the girl with the less than splendid, wants to end it, unexpected, far from perfect life

Love hurts, boys lie
Friends cry, people die
Parents yell, you always try
You're never good enough and you don't know why

Other parents say they love her
But she gets no love from her mother
She's held down and she is smothered
She needs to get away
She wants peace, but causes violence
To herself, to bring the silence
She's so small, her problems are giant
It's like this every day

When everything is wrong, something will go right
She just laid there, awake through the night
Every single day is no longer a fight
Things will get better for her less than splendid, wants to end it,
Can't fill the void, completely destroyed
unexpected, far from perfect life.

[TMBJon]

I suggested you might have something to contribute to this topic... and you did. How is that an unprovoked jab?

[WeirdAbbott]

Well, I have never posted one of my serious songs on this forum (and even if I did, I don't remember...which means you probably don't remember). So your only frame of reference of my songwriting are my parodies and my original comedy songs...which are intended to be funny. So, by saying that I, someone you have "critiqued" (to use the term very loosely) on multiple occasions, would have a song to contribute to the Unfunny Songs You've Written thread...THAT Jon, would be an unprovoked jab.

[TMBJon]

Why are you so sensitive about getting criticism? I "critique" everyone on this forum from time to time. It's called breaking balls. If you don't want to be "critiqued" then don't post your parodies in public.

[JCM]

lol who calls it breaking balls

Here's another unfunny lyric switch I wrote, this time of Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World. I was extremely cynical back then.

I see weeds of green, thorny plants, too
And they just grow just to annoy you
And I think to myself what a horrible world.

I see skies of black and clouds of gray
Dark cursed days, bright stupid nights
And I think to myself what a horrible world.

The tapping of all the rain so crazy on the roof
Are also in the fingers of people going through
I see ladies slapping men asking what they can do
Inside they're saying I hate you.

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll cry much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself what a horrible world
Yes I think to myself what a horrible world.