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Re: "Twenty Six and a Half" - A new Weird Al tribute album

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 8:48 am
by weirdojace
I asked Lemon Demon but he never responded to my email.

And uh, sure I guess.
WONKA’S DOOR
Parody of “Hardware Store” by Weird Al Yankovic

Nothing ever happens in my house
We are shut out
All my grandparents sleep all day
I thought that I would go right out of my mind until my dad brought home the news
It said Willy Wonka’s got this thing
Where 5 kids will get to see his factory
If they find a golden ticket and then I screamed “I’ve gotta find one of those too!”
But they said “there is no hope for you”
We are so poor that your dad caps toothpaste tubes
But listen to us, we’re not trying to be rude
There is just no chance for you
But one day I found a dollar on the ground
And then I immediately turned around
I went and bought a Wonka bar and found
A golden ticket oh how cool!

I can’t wait (no I) I can’t wait
I found a ticket in this candy store
I’m goin’ (yes I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ up to
Goin’ up to (I’m going up to) I’m goin’, really goin’ up to
Goin’ (Won-) I’m goin’ up to (-ka) oh yes, I’m goin’ up to
Wonka’s door

The first ticket was found by this kid
Named Augustus Gloop and he’s really really big
He just takes food and he forces it in
He is really really really really really really really fat
And then Veruca Salt was the 2nd one in line
A nasty little girl whose dad made sure she’d find
A golden ticket by searching every chocolate for the prize
As you see, she’s a spoiled brat
And then the third was Violet Beauregarde
Another girl who just chews gum until it’s hard
Smacking like a cow, her jaws moving apart
It looks really really nasty
And then the fourth was Mike Teavee
Television is the only light he ever sees
And then everyone was still searching frantically
But the fifth one went to me!

I can’t wait (no I) I can’t wait
My family’s not going to starve no more
I’m goin’ (yes I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ up to
Goin’ up to (I’m going up to) I’m goin’, really goin’ up to
Goin’ (Won-) I’m goin’ up to (-ka) oh yes, I’m goin’ up to
Wonka’s door

I’m goin’ (yes I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ up to
Goin’ up to (I’m going up to) I’m goin’, really goin’ up to
Goin’ (Won-) I’m goin’ up to (-ka) oh yes, I’m goin’ up to
Wonka’s door


Would you look at all of Willy Wonka’s stuff…

He’s got toffee that will change your hair and Oompa Loompas everywhere
And chocolate rivers, waterfalls, a bunch of twisty turny halls
And ice cream that will never melt and cavity filling caramel
And lemonade filled swimming pools, invisible bars to eat in school

And gum that is a three course meal, inventions you’d never think were real
And drinks that send you in the air and unless you burp you will stay there
Exploding sweets for enemies and coconut ice skating rinks
And candy that’s invisible and rooms completely edible

And giant machines underground and also square sweets that look round
Elevators made of glass and chocolate boats that go real fast
And squirrels that are trained to crack nuts and sweets to get green teeth for months
And candy sent through the TV and rock candy down 10,000 feet

And different types of beans and cream, and sweets you grab from TV screens
And drops that make you spit color and stuff that just runs off sugar
And sugar pencils for sucking and also toffee apple trees
And best of all, everything in every room is edible

I can’t wait (no I) I can’t wait
Lifetime chocolates will deliver to my door
I’m goin’ (yes I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ up to
Goin’ up to (I’m going up to) I’m goin’, really goin’ up to
Goin’ (Won-) I’m goin’ up to (-ka) oh yes, I’m goin’ up to
Wonka’s door

I’m goin’ (yes I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ up to
Goin’ up to (I’m going up to) I’m goin’, really goin’ up to
Goin’ (Won-) I’m goin’ up to (-ka) oh yes, I’m goin’ up to
Wonka’s door

I’m goin’ (yes I’m) goin’, I’m a-goin’ up to
Goin’ up to (I’m going up to) I’m goin’, really goin’ up to
Goin’ (Won-) I’m goin’ up to (-ka) oh yes, I’m goin’ up to
Woooooooonkaaaaa’s doorrrrrrrrrrrr!

Re: "Twenty Six and a Half" - A new Weird Al tribute album

Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 4:53 am
by JohnnyLurg
Was "Dumbledore" or "Wonka's Door" released first?

Re: "Twenty Six and a Half" - A new Weird Al tribute album

Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:50 pm
by weirdojace
Dumbledore.

I ripped off the whole idea.

Re: "Twenty Six and a Half" - A new Weird Al tribute album

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 10:33 pm
by Mad Genius
Oh, my God, I totally remember Jace's Hardware Store parody. Oddly enough, Steve Goodie's parody [Dumbledore] inspired both "Wonka's Door," and my parody of Hardware Store, "Long Course."

I plan to remix Long Course, and posting it here.

Re: "Twenty Six and a Half" - A new Weird Al tribute album

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 10:35 pm
by JohnnyLurg
Mad Genius wrote:Oh, my God, I totally remember Jace's Hardware Store parody. Oddly enough, Steve Goodie's parody [Dumbledore] inspired both "Wonka's Door," and my parody of Hardware Store, "Long Course."

I plan to remix Long Course, and posting it here.
"Long Course?" Is that also filk?

Re: "Twenty Six and a Half" - A new Weird Al tribute album

Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:13 am
by Mad Genius
Actually, no, "Long Course" was similar to Hardware Store in the sense that my parody was about the grand opening of an Olympic sized pool/aquatic center. Long course is swimmer jargon for 50 meter pool (standard Olympic length pool).

Jace has admitted to me that "Long Course" was better than his parody of Hardware Store.

Re: "Twenty Six and a Half" - A new Weird Al tribute album

Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:54 am
by JohnnyLurg
Mad Genius wrote:Actually, no, "Long Course" was similar to Hardware Store in the sense that my parody was about the grand opening of an Olympic sized pool/aquatic center. Long course is swimmer jargon for 50 meter pool (standard Olympic length pool).

Jace has admitted to me that "Long Course" was better than his parody of Hardware Store.
Did Steve Goodie comment on it too?

Re: "Twenty Six and a Half" - A new Weird Al tribute album

Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 9:56 pm
by Big Spoon
Was listening to this again the other day. Really turned out fantastically.

Re: "Twenty Six and a Half" - A new Weird Al tribute album

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2019 6:25 am
by LovelySortsOfDeath
A few places you can still get a CD copy:
Bandcamp
CDBaby
The FuMP
Amazon