What Movies Based On Songs Would Be Like

[Dr eBay]

I was perusing some of my old word documents buried in folders inside folders inside folders when I came across this gem. I can not remember who wrote these (forgive me original author) but they are friggin' hilarious! Enjoy, and maybe we can get a topic going with the sole purpose of writing scenes like this:

OK, here's the donut scene with mewrio, Seva, Dr eBay and eddywho. And just for kicks, WEIRDALFAN27.

Dr eBay: Hey everyone! Could I please have some glazed donuts?
eddywho: what we have donuts in this building
Dr eBay: Huh?
eddywho: what do you mean huh
Dr eBay: Could you please explain yourself better?
WEIRDALFAN27: Only 2 days left!
Dr eBay: What do you m-
WEIRDALFAN27: VOTE!
Seva: Oh rrrrrrrrrrreally?
Dr eBay: You have donuts back there! Could one of you please give me a glazed one?
Seva: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrright.
Dr eBay: In that case could I please have a jelly donut?
eddywho: what we have jelly donuts and glazed donuts
WEIRDALFAN27: One day, 23 hours! VOTE!
Dr eBay: eddywho, you still aren't making yourself clear.
Seva: 
eddywho: vote for what is it presidential election season
Dr eBay: Could one of you please just give me a cinnamon roll?
WEIRDALFAN27: One day, 22 hours, 30 minutes left! VOTE!
Seva: Just don't take any of MY rolls!
WEIRDALFAN27: Hey what happened to that guy?
eddywho: he probably got on a roller coaster and got his head knocked off
WEIRDALFAN27: You need to explain yourself better. And one day, 22 hours left! VOTE!
Dr eBay: Sorry I was gone. My internet isn't reliable and wasn't on then. Could I please have my cinnamon roll?
eddywho: you look at the pictures up there tell me if you see one
Seva: 
Dr eBay: OK, how about an apple fritter?
WEIRDALFAN27: Only one day....
Dr eBay: You don't need to keep reminding me!
WEIRDALFAN27: VOTE!
Dr eBay: Then, how about a bear claw?
Seva: Rrrrrrrrrright. 
WEIRDALFAN27: I'll go check. But remember to VOTE!
eddywho: what we have bear claws

OVERNIGHT..........
mewrio: Hey everyone, I'm ready for some- HOLY CRAP! It's like they're all on a different time than I am! My only holiday, and I wanted some fresh donuts or bear claws!

THE NEXT DAY......
Seva: No bear claws. Not even where I come from. It's hard to be a bear fan there.
Dr eBay: Could you please tell me what you do have?
WEIRDALFAN27: I have an electronic ballot so you can VOTE! Only five hours left!
Dr eBay: I can only count two of you. There were three yesterday.
Seva: OK, we have this box of starving, crazed weasels. And eddywho won't be coming back for a while. Like fourteen more years 
Dr eBay: OK, I'll take them.
mewrio: Holy crap! Those were supposed to be mine!
Dr eBay: (weasels latch onto his face) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WEIRDALFAN27: That's what you get for failing to vote.
mewrio: It's like I'm in a whole different world.
Seva: Me too.

mewrio, Seva, Dr eBay, WEIRDALFAN27: Do not take this above script personally or think I actually mean it.
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Another snorkel-stealing scene with Dr eBay continuing his role as Al, with Jasper Johns the Hermaphrodite Frie:

(Dr eBay is about to eat his pillow mint when he hears some incomprehensible yelling from outside the room.)
Dr eBay: Could you please knock? (Jasper Johns continues to yell incomprehensibly.)
Dr eBay: Knock! (Jasper Johns continues to yell. Dr eBay opens the door, and Jasper Johns sneaks in and grabs the snorkel.) Could you please put that back? It's been like a snorkel, you hermaphrodite!
Jasper Johns: what im no herm what was that word again im a sexy beast
Dr eBay: Please give it back!
Jasper Johns: give what back i didnt take nutin
Dr eBay: The snorkel.
Jasper Johns: if yo want it back grab it out my sexy hands
(Later.....)
Jasper Johns: hes not here i can keep this thing
Dr eBay: I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Give back my snorkel!
(They fight and knock the phone off the hook. Jasper Johns gets reported and banned, then leaves.)