Custom Polkas

[avesjohn]

So I already posted this like 5 years ago in one of the "parodies you've made" threads, but now that we have a thread for custom polkas, I feel it merits re-posting. In retrospect, I'm still quite proud of this effort, which I apparently came up with and wrote in a single day.

The idea just sounded hilarious, reducing one the most serious albums around to a five-minute, sound-effect heavy (italics) polka. The "Closer" bit is basically the same as the version Al recorded for "The Alternative Polka". My other personal favorite parts of this medley include the ironic "Heresy" (sung by a choir), and the one-line version of the album's title track. Enjoy.

THE DOWNWARD POLKA
Polka medley of the album The Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails

[Mr. Self Destruct]

I am the voice inside your head (and I control you)
I am the lover in your bed (and I control you)
I am the sex that you provide (and I control you)
I am the hate you try to hide (and I control you)

I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct

(Explosion)

[Piggy]

Nothing can stop me now
‘Cause I don’t care anymore (oink)
Nothing can stop me now
‘Cause I just don’t care

[Heresy]

(Choir)

Your god is dead (dead!)
And no one cares (cares!)
If there is a hell (hell!)
I’ll see you there (there!)

[March of the Pigs]

All the pigs are all lined up
I give you all that you want
Take the skin and peel it back (peeling, screaming)
Now doesn’t that make you feel better?

[Closer]

Help me I broke apart my insides
Help me I’ve got no soul to sell (cash register)
Help me the only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself

I want to (poink) you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to (doing) you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god

[Ruiner]

How did you get so big?
How did you get so strong?
How did you get so hard?
How did it get so long?

[The Becoming]

Hiding backwards inside of me
I feel so unafraid
Annie, hold a little tighter
I might just slip away (cartoon slip)



Don’t you tell me how I feel
Don’t you tell me how I feel
Don’t you tell me how I feel
You don’t know just how I feel

I want to know everything (computing sounds)
I want to be everywhere (airplane)
I want to (squeak) everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters

[Big Man With A Gun]

I am a big man (yes I am)
And I’ve got a big gun (gunshot)
Got me a big old (baa) and I
I like to have fun
Held against your forehead
I’ll make you (cluck) it
Maybe I’ll put a hole in your head
You know, just for the (moo) of it

[A Warm Place]

[Eraser]

Drums!

Need you
Dream you
Find you
Taste you
(Bark) you
Use you
Scar you
Break you
Lose me
Hate me
Smash me
Erase me
Kill me

Kill me, kill me, kill me…
Hey, hey, hey hey!

[Reptile]

Oh my beautiful liar
Oh my precious whore
My disease my infection
I am so impure

[The Downward Spiral]

Bang!

[Hurt]

I hurt myself today (weeping)
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
I…would…find…a…way!
(I’d go and find a way, I’d go and find a way)
I’d go and find a way, hey!

[Moneybags]

I decided it'd be fun to try an come up with an alternate polka medley that could have theoretically been on Mandatory Fun. I used three criteria in particular to pick out the songs included in this polka. They are as follows:
1. All songs had to be from the same era as those selected for use on Mandatory Fun (I went with 2012 through early 2014).
2. All songs had to break into the Top 20 of the Billboard Hot 100 chart at some point.
3. No artists could be used in a previous Weird Al endeavor (I realize this isn't a standard that Al sets for his medleys, but I did it anyway).

I'm hoping that, if I get some time, I can try to record this, but in the meantime, I'm just going to post it here. Without further adieu, here's...

POLKA TIL' YOU PASS OUT

A medley comprised of the following songs:

"I Love It" by Icona Pop (C. Aitchison, P. Berger, L. Eklöw)
"I Will Wait" by Mumford & Sons (M. Mumford)
"Counting Stars" by OneRepublic (R. Tedder)
"Wake Me Up!" by Avicii feat. Aloe Blacc (T. Bergling, A. Blacc, A. Quinn, M. Einziger)
"Started From The Bottom" by Drake (A. Graham, N. Shebib, M. Coleman)
"Ho Hey" by The Lumineers (W. Schultz, J. Fraites)
"Little Talks" by Of Monsters And Men (N. Bryndís Hilmarsdóttir, R.Þórhallsson)
"Pompeii" by Bastille (D. Smith)
"Turn Down For What" DJ Snake feat. Lil Jon (W. Grigahcine, J. Smith)
"Swimming Pools (Drank)" by Kendrick Lamar (K. Duckworth, T. Williams)
"We Are Young" by fun. feat. Janelle Monáe (N. Ruess, A. Dost, J. Antinoff, J. Bhasker)
"Suit & Tie" by Justin Timberlake feat. Jay-Z (J. Timberlake, T. Mosley, J. Harmon, S. Carter, J. Fauntleroy, T. Stubbs, J. Wilson, C. Still)
"One More Night" by Maroon 5 (A. Levine, K. Schuster, M. Martin, S. Kotecha)

Lyrics:

I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone
I crashed my car into the bridge; I watched, I let it burn
I threw your stuff into a bag and pushed it down the stairs
I crashed my car into the bridge
I don't care, I love it
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don’t care and…

I will wait, I will wait for you
I will wait, I will wait for you

Lately I been, I been losing sleep (hey!)
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard (hey!)
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be, we'll be counting stars

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost

Started from the bottom, now we're here
Started from the bottom, now my whole team here, buddy
Started from the bottom, now we're here
Started from the bottom, now my whole team really…

Here…Hey! Ho! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Don't listen to a word I say (hey!)
The screams all sound the same (hey!)
Though the truth may vary
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

Turn down for what?
Turn down for what?

Pour up (drank), head shot (drank)
Sit down (drank), stand up (drank)
Pass out (drank), wake up (drank)
Faded (drank), faded (drank)

Tonight, we are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun

As long as I got my suit and tie
I'ma leave it all on the floor tonight
And you got fixed up to the nines
Let me show you a few things

So I cross my heart and I hope to die
That I'll only stay with you one more night
And I know I said it a million times
But I'll only stay with you one more night
I'll…only…stay…one more night!
Hey!

[Killingsworth]

^Very Well Done!

[shawnisweird]

I’ve been trying for about 10 months to write a polka with todays hits (and a couple of 2012/2014 songs) and it’s incredibly difficult to figure out transitions and interludes.
The name also sorta needs work.

WORKING TITLE: Pour Some Polka on Me

Songs: bad guy - Billie Eillish
Havana - Camila Cabello
Sucker - The Jonas Brothers
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
Hey Soul Sister - Train
Photograph - Ed Sheeran
Bring Me to Life - Evanescence

(Any kind of help would be super appreciated)

[Tokusou Sentai Blessranger]

I’ve been trying for about 10 months to write a polka with todays hits (and a couple of 2012/2014 songs) and it’s incredibly difficult to figure out transitions and interludes.
The name also sorta needs work.

WORKING TITLE: Pour Some Polka on Me

Songs: bad guy - Billie Eillish
Havana - Camila Cabello
Sucker - The Jonas Brothers
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
Hey Soul Sister - Train
Photograph - Ed Sheeran
Bring Me to Life - Evanescence

(Any kind of help would be super appreciated)

My idea for the other half of the polka:

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At The Disco
Juice - Lizzo
Anti-Hero - Taylor Swift
Levitating - Dua Lipa
Tattoo - Jordin Sparks
Leave The Door Open - Silk Sonic
Heat Waves - Glass Animals