ALTV- The Home Game

[PsychoWardJester27]

Interview with Al:





okay then. have you ever ran into my imaginary friend, Spanky the Hobo?



I’ve run into him a few times. The first time I met him we were both appearing on an episode of that old MTV game show “Remote Control.” From what I remember, he wasn’t making $20 million a picture at the time.



yes he is quite fameous now, what beat does Albequerque start on?



It starts on the second beat



thought so, what do you want to tell anybody who told you you would amount to nothing?



Feel superior now?



okay cool. how would you react if I dumped mayonaise on your head?



The same way I can rationalize playing at a college



I see. have you ever had a secret desire about forensics points?



I don't know about forensics points, but I made it to the State Competition a couple times.



huh?



One year I made it to the State finals with my Expository speech about all the garbage they put in hot dogs



okay man, your going off topic, guess it's time to go. you have anything else to say?



I got perfect straight A's all through high school.



okay, thank you Al.



Jordan

[danthefanman]

Hey Al.



I don’t have any ownership of the title



Riiiight. Now how do you feel about me attacking you with a butcher knife?



I have very mixed feelings about it.



Have you ever met Gilligan?



I’ve run into him a few times. The first time I met him we were both appearing on an episode of that old MTV game show “Remote Control.” From what I remember, he wasn’t making $20 million a picture at the time.



Wow $20 million. Is it true you were the first man to walk on the moon?


That was a collaboration between myself, Bermuda and a bunch of lawyer folk.



What was the defining feature that made you choose your band members?


Whether or not they’re on fire.



At what point in your life were you trying to take over the world?



all through high school



Now why weren't there more shots of you in I love the 80s?



The producers at VH1 were concerned about the potential sudden ratings drop.



Bummer, that explains Mo Rocca being in it only one or 2 times. So in the new Al-TV you asked Eminem the mathamatical formula to figure out the area of a pentododecohedren, do you actually know this formula?



You remember



No, I don't remember. But if you had a message to all your devoted fans, what would it be?



Try to have a life.



Have you ever met the little kid from the Wild Thornberrys?



I’d met Donny once or twice previously - in fact, I believe there’s a picture of me in the “Permanent Record” booklet where Donny’s holding me up by my lapels. [/b]

[Ash]

When one of your band members messes up, how do you punish them?



We kept ramming a pair of scissors into Bermuda's head until we found a spot soft enough so that they stuck. What a good sport he is, huh?



What gifts do you give Suzanne on the holidays?



Lime-scented Mennen speed stick, or a dead raccoon, depending on the occasion.



Have you noticed the boil on your neck before?



No, I noticed it a long time ago.



How did Suzanne feel when you called her up to ask her to marry you?



I'm not sure if she fully understood at the time, but one of my cousins explained it to her after she got off the phone, and she really appreciated it.



Do you know the names of everyone who has every attended one of your concerts?



Yes, I can name all of them.

[Orthography Enthusiast]

This seemed to be as good a place as any for this little effort... I decided to interview myself about my evening's excursion to the OC Fair, with all the replies being lines from Weird Al songs.



So, OE, I hear you went to a concert tonight.

That's right.



This concert was actually at the fairgrounds?

And when the wind is right you can even smell the cows.



Did you have time to get anything to eat before the concert? Have-a more ravioli.



Anything to drink?

We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino.



BOWLING? At a fairground?

I was only kidding.



Did you sample any of the other fair attractions? I thought maybe I'd unwind, try out that new roller coaster ride.



Was that REALLY a good idea right after dinner?

No, no, no...



I can imagine what happened...

Then my tummy starts a-grumblin', feelin' queer.



Was there an opening act?

You want some Cake?



And the headlining act was...?

...we are Devo!



Devo? When did they play together last?

A long long time ago...



How did Devo look after all those years?

Addicted to spuds.



What? One or two of them are maybe just a LITTLE pudgy, but not that bad! Or does "spuds" mean something else at a Devo concert? It's hard to keep the fans at bay.



Still popular, hey? Why'd it take you so long to get home?

The freeway's one big parking lot.

[TMBJon]

OE, nice work.

I remember something like this on Prosthetic Lips where someone interviewed Al using clips from his songs. Very similar. Good job!

[scottidog]

AND she managed to give us a mini review of the concerts while still keeping it Rel-AL-vent. 27 bonus points for that.

[Orthography Enthusiast]

AND she managed to give us a mini review of the concerts while still keeping it Rel-AL-vent. 27 bonus points for that.

Aw, thanks. Seeing Devo was really interesting. They have an opening montage that definitely gives me a hint where Al got the idea for the ones he does. And it shows me what a challenge it was for Al to actually be funnier than Devo. For example, in one clip, Devo lines up and salutes. Al and the band line up and stick ice cream cones on their foreheads. It gave me a whole new appreciation for the brilliance of the DTBS video.



I really did keep expecting them to play Dare To Be Stupid, especially during the first half of the show when they were wearing the yellow suits. But theirs were tearaway paper (Mark Mothersbaugh's started disintegrating early, and he did several numbers in mid-molt) and when they finally took them off, they just tore 'em off in chunks and threw the pieces into the enthusiastic audience, leaving themselves clad in black T shirts with DEVO on them, short black shorts and kneepads. Not necessarily the best choice for middle-aged guys who have clearly been leading rather sedentary lives lately, but they definitely weren't trying to conserve energy last night, and neither was the audience. The audience sat down for most of Cake's part of the concert, but it was SRO for the whole time Devo was on. People were wearing funny hats and everything. They're still proclaiming Devolution (song intro: "You will be pleased, heartened, relieved, gladdened to know that every word we sing tonight, every note we play, has been approved by the CIA."



As far as I can tell, last night I attended Devo's entire concert season for summer, 2003. But even though they really don't tour except on rare occasions, you can tell that they do play together regularly (they all work together on scoring and soundtrack projects, and two years ago they put out a pseudonymous instrumental surf album by the "Wipeouters" called "P'twaang!" that, now that I've heard how they can play, I think I'll definitely have to buy) And they call their audience "Spuds," which gives me another possible meaning for "mashed potatoes can be your friends."



Weird Cover Tune Choices:

Cake closed their set with a driving alt-rock version of Barry White's "Never Never Gonna Give You Up" and Devo did "Can't Get No Satisfaction." And just like when Al polka'd the song, when Devo sings it, you believe it. Mick Jagger singing "I can't get no girly action" just leaves you saying, "Yeah, right!" :sarcasm:

[Elvis]

Hi and welcome. Please introduce yourself, and, by the way, where shall we conduct this interview?



Hi, my name's Al. Wanna go out?



Um, sure. We can conduct this interview outside. Anyway, how was your recent paintball target practice outing? Did you manage to shoot anything?



I think we got maybe 2 or 3 people from the casting office, but the overwhelming majority were friends and family members that just wanted to come to the shoot.



Wait, so your friends voluntairly let you shoot them as target practice?



I had a very small group of very weird friends.



Yeah, I suppose so. Do you give them a head start or anything?



We generally wait until the crowd thins down to a reasonable number, but if we're on a really tight schedule, it may not be possible at all.



Anyone you target regularly?



Well, it helps if you're in my band. Or if you're Dick Van Patten. Other than that, I just pick names at random out of the phone book. Don't worry, I'll get around to everyone eventually.



Who's the easiest to hit?



I guess I'd have to say Dr. Demento.



Eminem joined you on the latest outing. But I noticed he was doing most of the shooting. Did you ever ask Eminem to be a target?



Actually, yes, we did ask him, but unfortunately he couldn't do it because he was busy shooting "Mr. Magoo."



But you shot him anyway, right?



We just had to wait until he wasn't looking.



Well Al. we're out of time, thanks for joining us.



Boy... the things I'll do for fifty bucks!



Dave

[Orthography Enthusiast]

That's a hoot, Dave!



I guess Al must have had a lot of fun at his bachelor party and wanted to repeat the experience.



(note for anybody who doesn't know: Al's bachelor party was a paintball day, not chicks jumping out of cakes)